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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/23127823">Gnarled Knots in Almyran Pine</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/inujuju/pseuds/inujuju'>inujuju</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Body Horror, Caretaking, Claude has a Rough Time, Derdriu is captured by the Empire, Dom/sub, Eventual Smut, Graphic Depictions of Wounds, M/M, Self-Harm, implied suicidal thoughts, no beta we die like men, post azure moon, spoilers for claude's backstory</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-03-13</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-04-19</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-01 06:54:31</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Explicit</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Graphic Depictions Of Violence</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>5,149</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/23127823</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/inujuju/pseuds/inujuju</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Dimitri is delayed arriving at Derdriu by less than a day. And that makes all the difference.</p><p>Tortured and experimented on, Claude claims his humanity to be dead. But Dimitri refuses to accept that fact, despite the proof Claude happily provides.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Dimitri Alexandre Blaiddyd/Claude von Riegan</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>28</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>133</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Crack Open Like Bullets</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><ul class="associations">


        <li>
            Inspired by

            <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/21043268">sharply broken creatures</a> by <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/users/unraelated/pseuds/unraelated">unraelated</a>.
        </li>

    </ul><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>90% unraelated's fault because of her great series "Until I am Whole". Purposefully echoes "sharply broken creatures" in the first chapter.</p><p>Buckle up folks, it's gonna be a fucked up ride.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>On the eve of the battle at Derdriu, Dimitri's army is delayed a mere three hours. Less than a day's march, less than a courtly feast, yet in times of war, substantial in any battle. Such is the reality of the situation. When Dimitri's battalion reaches Derdriu, the important players are already gone, and all that remain are the civilian ships being shepherded in by the enemy.</p><p>They recapture the city, and with it, Judith presents the Alliance in Claude's stead.</p><p>"I'll keep this brief, Dimitri. My temper won't let me say any more without regretting it." She begins, wrapped in bandages and being attended to by nervous Alliance troops. "Claude calculated you being here sooner. We shouldn't have relied on something so... frivolous. He accepted that, at the end. Still, he refused to believe you wouldn't show at all. So he made a deal with that Arundel. His life and his lands in exchange for the civilians out at sea."</p><p>Judith licks her lips, annoyed by the blood that drips from a split. "Arundel probably didn't realize you were on your way, goddess knows I gave up. As far as he was concerned, he was getting a important hostage and the Alliance with it."</p><p>"But we did arrive." Dimitri says, understanding curdling in his gut. "But what is to become of Claude? Surely they wouldn't believe he is worth keeping alive..."</p><p>Silence hangs in the air between them. Judith doesn't dignify him with a response. Instead, she pulls her body away from the attending priest, heading out to her few remaining soldiers.</p><p>Hilda approaches Dimitri next, sorrow in her eyes. "Claude was... very close to Judith. She probably saw him as a son if I'm being honest." She sets a hand on Dimitri's shoulder. "You should know that she doesn't blame you. She just needs some time. For Claude's last scheme to fail, and in such a disastrous way, it probably hurts her more than we can understand."</p><p>"Still..." Dimitri says, guilt clawing at him. "Had I pushed us harder, instead of allowing doubt and hatred to be permitted in our army-"</p><p>"Stop right there, Dimitri." Hilda interrupts with a pout. "Ignoring your peoples concerns is wrong. This is just... an unfortunate result. That's war. We have to move on."</p><p>Dimitri doesn't push against Hilda any further. He let's her lead him back to his group, passing him off to Dedue like the wayward man he is. Part of Dimitri is surprised he hasn't fallen to anger, as yet another ghost comes to cling to him. But he can't afford too. Not after how far they have come, after how much they have lost.</p><p>Still, that doesn't stop Dimitri from weeping that night, and all that follow, begging Claude's ghost for forgiveness.</p><hr/><p>Dimitri should be <i>happy</i> after Enbarr falls. He should be relieved that the war is over, that he can bring true peace to the land. And yet his foolish heart is not satisfied. It weeps for his stepsister, so beautiful and lonely, turned into a monster for daring to protect those she loved. Dimitri can never endorse her ways, but for him to have slayed her... Perhaps that is what he deserves, for allowing himself to fail so substantially as a leader.</p><p>Had Claude been with Dimitri, maneuvering their troops together, he is positive that they would have taken the capital in less than three months. Yet it took Dimitri a better part of a year to reach the Emperor. The Alliance forces were a boon, but their moral died with their leader. Honoring their desire to help, Dimitri had them stationed throughout the Alliance and Kingdom lands, unable to bring them with him to the Empire. Former members of the Golden Deer split, some continuing with Dimitri, but most staying with their people. It was hard for them to look to Dimitri to lead when he had, in a way, failed them.</p><p>It is during these bleak thoughts that Annette and Ingrid come rushing to him, both calling out for his attention. The fear in their voice, so different from the calm rubble around him, startles Dimitri.</p><p>"Oh my goddess, Dimitri," Annette cries out, clutching her shall close. "We found him, we found him." Her face is slick with tears, her whole body shaking.</p><p>"Annette, what do you-"</p><p>"It's Claude, your majesty." Ingrid says, face sickly pale and hands clutching at her lance. "He's in the dungeons. He's... he's alive."</p><p>Horror grabs Dimitri's heart. His friends should be <i>elated</i> upon the discovery. For them to be like this...</p><p>"Take me to him."</p><p>"Your majesty, it's not safe-"</p><p>"That's an order, Ingrid!" He doesn't mean to yell, to let anger turn his tone into a beast. But he needs to see Claude, he needs to know the fate that he has had a hand in enacting.</p><p>Annette grabs for Dimitri, clinging to him for comfort. He allows the touch, if only because she pulls him to the dungeons. Ingrid stumbles ahead of them, taking point. The knights move out of their way. The further they go, the more dread pools inside Dimitri. They are far deeper in the earth than he thought existed. Jail cells break away into gore-filled chambers. The smell of death and dark magic seeps from every off shoot hallway, every ill-fated room.</p><p>Several minutes pass, the only sounds being Annette's tears and Dimitri's heartbeat. Eventually they come to a large circular chamber that is more ash than stone. Two battalions, Annette's and Ingrid's, fill the space. Dimitri see's some healers attending to some wounded knights, scars bleeding a sickly poison at an alarming rate.</p><p>"He's ahead, your majesty." Ingrid says, trying to keep her voice level.</p><p>In front of them is a caged room, similar to a beast's holding cell in old coliseums. The gate has been raised, but everyone gives the space a large breath. In the darkness of the room, Dimitri see's a hunched form and hears pained breathing.</p><p>He swallows, taking a few steps forward. Annette stumbles with him, lighting up the room with fire magic.</p><p>Chains hang from the ceiling, pulled taunt by their captor. Green eyes, wide and mad flicker in the light, locking onto Dimitri's form. Hissing rises from silent to loud, a mouth hanging opening a brandishing large fangs dripping venom. A deformed arm, like twisted pine, digs into the stone. It stretches up to a shoulder that burns red from blood and fire.</p><p>Dimitri's heart trembles, his mouth fills with vile. He cannot hold his composure, forced to turn away and vomit. He recognizes the stone that glows red, the nightmare of Miklan, or Edelgard burned into his mind. Failnaught hadn't stopped at twisting into Claude at his arm. It extends up his throat, breaking through his skull into a cracked antler covered in gore. A long tail, broken in three places, continues to pull at the chains that hold it still. Dark symbols cover the walls, keeping the steel from breaking.</p><p>"W-We tried to approach him." Annette explains, snuffing the fire out in exhaustion. The darkness leaves green eyes reflecting the Reigen's crest stone. "He was sitting so quietly in the corner. When we called out to him, he even seemed to recognize us.</p><p>"B-But as soon as Angie approached him, he lashed out." Annette's voice cracks, her lungs heaving in despair. "He bit right through her arm. He almost killed h-her. And he kept pulling at those chains until his bones started breaking."</p><p>Taking a deep breath, Dimitri steps just past the cell's entrance. Claude's form softens, his binds clattering as his figure relaxes.</p><p>Taking a moment to prepare himself, Dimitri speaks. "Do you recognize me, Claude?"</p><p>Silence stays for several beats. The beast before him tilts his head to the side, eyes narrowing.</p><p>Dimitri tries again. "It's Dimitri, from-" The man falters, realizing that they had last seen each other at Gronder Field, where Dimitri had shot Claude out of the sky.</p><p>"Diiimaaa?" Hums a voice, deeper than Claude's yet unmistakably his. Goddess, he sounds wretched.</p><p>Swallowing another mouthful of vomit, Dimitri nods.</p><p>Claude's eyes narrow for a moment, before softening, turning away. He shuffles backwards, easing the pull of chains and resting his tail with a small hiss. Now sitting upright, Dimitri can better take in Claude's body. The other is wearing little more than torn cloth, what may have once been a large shirt, though pants are noticeably absent. His right arm appears unchanged, though several scars line the taunt skin. He's malnourished, cheeks sunken and skin tight across his ribs. The alarming changes seems to end with his tail, his legs gloriously human.</p><p>The crest stone at his shoulder brightens gold before defusing, a slit of skin wrapping over it. Claude's shoulders drop, his fangs fold into his mouth, and his tail stills. He looks incredibly tired, any fight dying with the calming of his crest.</p><p>Dimitri hesitates but makes his way deeper inside. He ignores Ingrid's request to send someone else. He only asks that Annette make the fire ball again so he can better see Claude.</p><p>Only a few feet away, Dimitri stops. He's still outside the other's range, marked by the torn stone on the floor. He shuffles to the left, choosing to approach Claude's more human side. Settling on the ground, Dimitri watches the other. Claude's eyes are tracking his movement, and his tail seems to twitch at times. Other than that, he is the picture of stillness.</p><p>Dimitri recognizes what the other is doing, and he hates it.</p><p>"I do not intend to approach any further, Claude, if all you intend to do is strike me down."</p><p>Dimitri's words charge the air. Claude's face splits open into a macabre smile, cheeks turning his eyes into crescent slits.</p><p>"Smaaart." Claude replies, long tongue flickering out. Despite its size, it is still human. Dimitri wonders how Claude's jaw can hold it.</p><p>"What is it that you hope to accomplish, killing me?" Dimitri asks.</p><p>Claude shrugs, head rolling to the side, resting against the bone that breaks out of his monstrous arm.</p><p>Dimitri closes his eyes and takes a deep breath. He remembers all those changed by the relics before Claude. How he has put an end to them all.</p><p>He... does not want to do that here.</p><p>"What do you know of the war, of what has occurred outside of your cell?"</p><p>Claude laughs, hoarse. "Nothing, your princeliness. Though if you are here, little El is dead, hmmm?" No remorse colours Claude's tone, nor satisfaction. "Shame. I wanted to eat her first."</p><p>Dimitri frowns. The lucidity of this conversation is... alarming. Claude is capable of thought, though Dimtri is unsure how rational it is.</p><p>"What happened to you?" He asks, regret and sorrow making his voice come out thick.</p><p>"Is the good boy going to cry?" Claude mocks. "I didn't think you would care, after leaving me to die." Claude's body slinks to the floor. He twists so Dimitri can see his back, where a large scar continues to bleed despite its age. "After destroying my back, breaking my spiiine. Truly, why did I ever believe in you? Foolish!" Claude spits out, eyes flaring wide and crest burning in crimson light. "I was so <i>stupid</i> to think that you would help me. Sane or not, I am nothing more than an annoyance to you Fodlan freaks." Claude surges upward, neck straining against the chains. "It does not matter what happens to me, so long as you win, right? Why come to <i>my</i> aid, when you can swoop in later and pick up the pieces. The pieces I <i>left</i> for you."</p><p>Anger drips from Claude's words, but Dimitri feels the sorrow, the regret, more than anything. He recognizes the tone in Claude's voice, so reminiscent of his own.</p><p>"It wouldn't do, for just Edelgard to hurt me." Claude hisses. "My own people let the empire march to me, my family abandoned me, and then I was foolish enough to think <i>you</i> would save me. But I'm done asking to be saved, so either take my head or let me take yours!"</p><p>As his temper flares, so too does the crest stone. Dimitri watches as blood pools thicker around Claude's body, as his jaw unhinges to let fangs slip out. He looks half crazed, a monster ripping off its human flesh.</p><p>"Your majesty, please!" Ingrid shouts. "Step away from him. There's nothing more we can do."</p><p>Dimitri shakes his head, stubborn and foolishly hopeful. "Was I not of a similar temperament, when you first came to me?"</p><p>"This is different, Dimitri, you-"</p><p>"It's not, Ingrid. If anything, this is more true to what I should have been. A monster who has come to hate his humanity."</p><p>Claude stills at those words. His fangs are still out, his crest arm still digging into the ground, but something flickers across his face.</p><p>Dimitri prays it is understanding.</p><p>"Inform the others of this, and please bring Mercedes down as well. Claude, how best can we assist you?"</p><p>Claude doesn't answer, stunned.</p><p>Dimitri stands. "Please, think about what you require. I will station some guards down here with you, Sylvain's group if that is alright? They won't approach you, of course, but I'm sure it will help to see people that do not wish to do you harm."</p><p>Claude scoffs. "Doesn't mean they won't inflict it."</p><p>Dimitri shakes his head. "They will not be permitted to do so, so long as you do not endanger them."</p><p>The two men hold eyes for a moment, before Claude stands. He cannot reach his full height with how the chains are twisted, but he can move back to the corner of the room. Dimitri sees what must pass as a bed, blood-soaked hay, as Claude settles down.</p><p>"Sylvain will be fine." Claude answers. "I would like a whole pheasant too, buuut," a huff of laughter, "I would probably vomit it up." He glances at Dimitri. "Vegetables please, while you're still being so charitable."</p><p>Dimitri nods. "I'll have water brought down as well, along with some bandages and ointment for your wounds."</p><p>Claude laughs. "Careful, your princeliness. Everything you do will just come back to bite you."</p><p>Shaking his head, Dimitri tries to smile. "That doesn't matter." Turning away, Dimitri let's his shoulder sag. "I will come back tomorrow, when I am able. I will see you then, Claude."</p><p>He begins to walk away, but despite the distance, Dimitri can still hear Claude when he speaks.</p><p>"Don't make promises you won't keep, my prince."</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Dream of Being There</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Claude tries to remember things. Some of it is good, most of it isn't.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Hoooooooow has it already been a month? What is my life?</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Claude awakes with memories of a dream. One where someone with golden hair and blue eyes reaches out to him, helps him. Picks up his broken body from the docks of Derdriu. They talk, they heal, they lead a united front to a bright future. It's stained in blood, but neither of them revel in the loss of life. They keep each other sane in a war where hearts like theirs are ripped to shreds.</p><p>It is... a nice dream, perhaps. If such a reality still existed for Claude, he would give anything to have it. But his body awakes to pain in his back. To a wound that never healed right, will never heal right. He wakes to an arm more monster than man, with two hearts that beat out of sync. There is a sickness that pulls at his mind, singing of destruction, of mindlessness that he can get lost in.</p><p>He flexes his fingers, first his human ones, then his left. There's a strange tackiness to his ghastly hand, the one he acknowledges only on the edges of his vision. There is something there that wasn't before. At least, he believes that is the case. He can properly recall. His body shudders with three days worth of starvation, of avoidance from his caretakers. Claude doesn't mind, he has lived through longer.</p><p>But the change needs to be examined. He moves his claw into sight.</p><p>Crimson, dark and thick, covers three of his fingers. Pieces of something stick to them like glue. Claude knows what it is, feels a panic build between his chest and mind. Images of people assault his vision, make him cry and jerk and press himself into the corner. There's a voice nearby saying something, but Claude's own screams above it. He shrieks and cries and tugs at his binds. His mind grasps for memories that flutter out of his hands like butterflies.</p><p>The crest in his shoulder flares to life, burns the sentiments away and leaves Claude laughing, laughing, <i>laughing</i>. Of course he would strike against his to-be rescuers. Of course he would read them all as foe. He has not received a kindness in over a year, they shouldn’t have expected him to react any other way.</p><p>But they <i>had</i>. Annette had rushed to him with worry and concern and he had tried to kill her. Her magic, so similar to his captors, had scratched against him like rusted surgery blades. His body had revoluted and reacted to the threat before his mind had caught up. By the time his brain could process the images before him, it was too late. A soldier had protected Annette from death, but it had cost them greatly. If they survived, they would never be able to fight again.</p><p>There was something else that happened after that. Something that fills Claude with dread. He can't remember though. All he can remember is the blonde hair and blue eyes from his dream. A desire to help, a desire to heal.</p><p>"Claude?" The man jolts at the words. He knows that voice, remembers it from the monastery infirmary back a lifetime ago. "Claude, please look at me." He doesn't want to, but he does. It is the least, and perhaps the most, he can do for her.</p><p>Mercedes is at the entrance to Claude's cell. She has a small collection of water pouches in her arms. A couple priests flank her sides, though they watch their commander, unable to look at Claude. She smiles at him, and Claude feels his lips split into a mockery of it.</p><p>She stops smiling. "I brought some water for you." Mercedes explains, holding up a waterskin. "I'll toss it to you, okay?"</p><p>"Don't bother." Claude replies, his throat croaking. "I won't drink it."</p><p>"Claude, please, you need some." She begs.</p><p>Claude hisses, feeling bone splintering against his shoulder. "I don't <i>want</i> it, Mercedes."</p><p>She huffs a sigh at him, like he's nothing more than a petulant brat. When she tosses the first pouch to him, Claude's tail intercepts it. Despite the chains pulling it back, Claude’s tail grinds against them, pulling through a knot. Muscles pull sinew apart, discarding the weighted tip of the tail that swings like a pendulum through the air.</p><p>Water splashes against the floor, the animal hide containing it falling apart with a splat. Claude pulls himself back, hissing and sobbing at the pain shooting through his tail into his spine. His old wound festers, dragging his mind into darkness. He cries, digging into the ground. Failnaught’s bones leave deep marks that echo older madness throughout his cell.</p><p>Mercedes says something, but Claude howls at her to shut up, to leave him alone. To get away from him before he slashes her in two as well. He thinks she gives the water to someone else. Despite his cries, they then throw the water at him like he’s a beast. And isn’t he? Screaming and cutting the skins down like a predictable attraction.</p><p>He faints after that. Plunging to the ground, falling off of wyvern’s back with no one there to catch him.</p>
<hr/><p>The second time Claude comes too since Dimitri's departure, his memories are more stable. His inner clock counts approximately ten hours since the king’s departure. That Claude couldn’t even remember him for that long should be disheartening but he just giggles at the fact. No one, least of all Claude, should expect him to have any semblance of sanity left.</p><p>His memories are back for however long they want to be. His mind, his heart? They were discarded long ago for a monster's happiness. Claude wants to pull Mercedes back into view so he can succeed where her brother had failed. Wouldn't that be a story to tell young children? About how forgiveness will never grant you happiness.</p><p>The air tastes like mildew and mold. The water delivered earlier has drained into Claude's rotting bed. The hay stinks from fungi and decay. Claude retches as he breathes, pulling up acid and blood. There is an unnatural shine to it all, slivers of lava in cold, black stone.. It burns at the floor beneath but cools too quickly to be of any use. Claude cannot recall if his insides have always had that effect. Or if, perhaps, it started after Dimitri arrived. He's lost track of the changes to his body. </p><p>"You doing okay in there, buddy?" Someone, not Mercedes, asks.</p><p>Claude blinks tears out of his eyes, rubs fresh sores across his face with monstrous fingers. Pain sparks on his nose, his cheek. Ah, he's cut himself.</p><p>"I'm just fine." He replies, smile large and eyes glittering with false innocence. "But Dimitri said I'd get some bandages to go with the water. Are you going to help me with them?"</p><p>The red head shrugs, smiling back with the same falseness. "Sorry bud, but you're banned from any goodies. We can't have you wasting our supplies with a tantrum." The man frowns, dropping his lax facade. "Seriously though, you don't sound too good Claude. I know some magic that can help you out, even from back here if you want-"</p><p>"Oh <i>yes</i>," Claude interrupts. "Good old <i>faith magic</i>. Did you find something other than your own dick to believe in, Sylvain?" The man in question pulls a face. Claude laughs harder, louder. He pretends the room is shaking instead of his body. "Of course!" He screeches, voice high and obnoxious. "Why didn't <i>I</i> think of that? Faith magic, no, magic of any kind will work perfectly fine in here. Never mind the dark sigils around me that exist for the sole purpose of causing my head to explode! Of course, using baby's first healing spell won't <i>trigger</i> them!" In his manic fit, Claude slaps the wall too hard, breaking the bones in his human hand. "Look at all these harmless circles! When you try to heal me, they'll just light up and help out right? Because my captors were all about quick healing and efficiency!"</p><p>"Alright, I get it. You don't have to freak out on me, sheesh."</p><p>"Oh," Claude says, standing up and he hears the crack in his spine, his vertebrae smashing against each other like gnashing teeth. "Oh I am so sorry, your greatness. You're right, I should treat you with the respect you deserve." Claude finally meets Sylvain's eyes. "Who the fuck are you again?"</p><p>Sylvain drops his mask, the one faking care and worry. His true feelings, disgust, anger, hatred, shine through. Claude wonders if this is what Sylvain looked like, when they were still young, and he had to put down his own brother.</p><p>Claude grins with something like joy, with something like desperation. He will not accept lies, he will not accept deceit. If someone ever approaches him with a mask of deception he will tear into it until nothing is left.</p><p>The general doesn't dignify Claude's tantrum with a response. He looks hurt at the words, but Claude doesn't dwell on it. His interest has already shifted inward, to the never ending pleas of forgiveness, of acceptance. Claude wants to help. He wants help in return. He cannot have either so he will not spare them a chance. He will destroy all the bridges he has left.</p><p>But wouldn't it be nice to wake up without pain? To remind his body how to breathe without constraint? Pain has become such a normal aspect of Claude's life that he isn’t sure if he can exist without it. He would just bring injury upon himself for the normalcy of it, for the reassurance he is still capable of feeling something. Claude no longer tries to correct his fading health. He doesn’t have to stay alive much longer to decide his fate after all. The part of him that could have been called human, would rather be killed. Before he escapes. Before he kills the only good thing left in Fodlan.</p><p>Leaning to the left, Claude let’s his legs drop him. The chains tighten, keeping him upright. They dig into his flesh, freezing the fever that continues to spike. He feels weak and pathetic and he just wants to cry and feel his mother's arms around him again.</p><p>She never did like holding him.</p><p>Something fractures inside of Claude. He turns into a sobbing mess, wailing and twisting and falling against the ground. He doesn't stop himself, he doesn't have the sense to try.</p><p>More time passes. Claude's tears dry, his sobbing ceases. He hangs, listless, as his brain brings up seconds and minutes and hours. Time lays out the ever growing evidence that Dimitri has yet to appear.</p><p>What is it like outside the darkness in these unused halls? Is the sun in the sky? The moon? Perhaps it is cloudy, raining, not letting any light through.</p><p>He loses himself to thoughts of time. His ears buzz in reaction to noise, his eyes flicker, tracking shapes. Claude doesn't comprehend what is before him. Not really.</p><p>Not until, in stark clarity, Dimitri appears.</p><p>"Claude?" He says, has been saying. The worry of his voice is carried into his eyes and his brows. His hands, rising to reach out to Claude, shake.</p><p>It's Dimitri. It's Dimitri! He's back, he's back like he said he would be. Dimitri returned, he came back, he came back for Claude. Seventeen hours. Seventeen hours and twenty minutes, no twelve minutes, no only two but it doesn't matter. It doesn't matter because Dimiti is here, Dimitri is back, he's back he's back he's-</p><p>Someone moves in front of Dimitri. The golden locks and blue eyes of Claude's dreams vanish. Dimitri disappears behind red, red, red, and more red.</p><p>Claude screams something horrid, his mouth tares open, his crest burns and pulses. The chamber lights up lilac, chains crackling as lightning rushes into Claude. He doesn't falter, he can't. The remains of his tail slams against the stone, hissing and burning and turning the ground to ash. He wields his body like a weapon, slicing through the chains choking him. Metal breaks and everything explodes into wreathing purples and blues and reds upon reds upon <i>reds</i>. Smoke fills Claude's lungs and blood grills against his skin and he can't see, he can't see, Dimitri what's happening what's happening what's-</p><p>"Claude!"</p><p>The world stops. Magic lets him go. The air clears. Claude's panic vanishes. The world lights up bright green. For a glorious moment Claude cannot register any pain. He cannot register anything.</p><p>Then his body drops, sags, against the stone. New chains form, replacing the ones so thoroughly destroyed. They hang loose, no longer caught in his body and self-torment. Breathing comes out loud, bubbling past water, blood, and vomit. Synapses in Claude's brain hum, comprehending what occurred, taking stock of his body, laughing at his stupidity.</p><p>"Sloppy," he gurgles out, against the desperate gasps. "So sloppy."</p><p>"Oh my goddess, Claude." It's Dimitri's voice. It has to be. No one else would let their distress be so apparent.</p><p>"'m alive." He answers.</p><p>"Wh-what happened? No, before that, are you alight?"</p><p>Claude laughs, so soft that he can only feel the action. It takes a moment for him to move his body, for his arms to right themselves against gravity. He takes too long to collect himself, to realign himself with the world. Someone is reaching for him before he can even stand.</p><p>"Claude-" Dimitri's voice chokes itself. Claude looks up and there he is. The King of Faerghus, the last hope of Fodlan, the Saviour King. He’s within arms reach and death’s touch.</p><p>"I'm fine, your highness." Claude says around the guts in his mouth. "I can heal this just fine." He smiles, raising his clawed hand. "I'll show you."</p><p>"Your highness-" Sylvain starts to shout but it's too late. Claude plunges his claws into flesh, breaking through bone and pushing past organs to a beating heart.</p><p>Dimitri gasps, he shakes, he may even cry. His hands stretch out to Claude, as if he wants to hold him even nowl.</p><p>Claude breathes, stutters, and pulls.</p><p>The crest stone in his chest flares to life, shooting gold light throughout his body. The snaking webs grab at his muscles, his bones, his skin. It pulls and sews him back together. Claude cries, falling forward. He doesn't let himself touch Dimitri though. He can't touch him, <i>he can't</i>.</p><p>Five heartbeats, equal to a hundred human ones, pass. Claude's body closes itself, pushing his claws out of his chest. His arm drops to the ground, cracking against the hard stone beneath. Another wound to heal another time. Claude will never be free of them.</p><p>"See?" Claude says, breathing easier than he has in weeks. "All better." He looks up at the king, smiles with something that feels real. "You don't have to worry about me, Dimitri."</p><p>The king is shaking, is indeed crying, and has yet to lower his hands. His lips wobble and Claude opens his mouth to make fun of him but is interrupted. "Claude, can I-" Dimitri's fingers flex, drawing closer to Claude.</p><p>He must be blind, to want to touch Claude after that. And maybe he is. That eye patch of his cover's Dimitri's right eye. Maybe he can't see the monster that lurks inside of Claude. Maybe he believes that Claude won't kill him. Maybe, maybe, maybe.</p><p>Maybe, despite everything, Dimitri still wants to hold him.</p><p>Claude sighs, lets his body lean forward further. His antler catches on Dimitri's shoulder, his head pushes against his chest. "If you really don't think I'll hurt you, go ahead."</p><p>Arms close around him. They hold him tight, like he's something precious, like he's something real. One rests against the back of his head, the other on his back. Both pull him closer. The parts of Claude that aren't human, that will never be human, don't fit right. Dimitri doesn't let that stop him.</p><p>"What have they done to you?” He whispers, and it sounds like the innocent cry of a child.</p><p>Claude has to close his eyes at the feeling. He doesn't answer, he can't. He has nothing to give Dimitri that won't hurt the other.</p><p>The arms tighten around him. Sobs reverberate through Claude's body. Tears fall onto his hair, his cheeks.</p><p>Ah... so it is raining.</p><p>Claude lets himself drown.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>How many truthful lies and lying truths did Claude tell in this fic? Only time (and future chapters) will tell.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
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